Dear Momma

 Hi my momma, it's been busy as usual but I wanted to write you and let you know that I love you and miss you so much. I'm almost done with setting up the new pool. Kayleigh took Dad out to breakfast this morning with Nicole. It's so hard to imagine celebrating the kids birthdays this week without you. 

But here I am about to do it, and I know you're with me in spirit. I wanted to do something for Xavier tomorrow for his birthday as we won't be doing anything with family until the weekend. I don't even want to put it out there except to just say "Hey; I'm celebrating on this day." because it's not the same without you here. You made it worth so much for me to be a mom. But I'm getting off track... I'm making a cake and I found this cool video on doing a bundt cake flower for him. I'm going to do the quince bush one and then his family cake will be the hydrangea flowers. Can you believe it... those are what he picked this year. I feel like you told him to do it.... thanks mom. You know me a frosting. 

Kay's is going to be a homemade carrot cake. I know everyone will love that, and I'm doing a beach theme on top. I know I can do that too. 

Work has been very busy but things are really coming together, a lot of small details are left to do, but I've been busy trying to get the back office looking organized and throw out things we don't need. I'll be doing that in the house next year. 

I'm about the work on Dad's birthday present soon. Which is photos of you... and I'm likely going to put photos of us and you and dad... Just your life. Every memory that comes in my head. 

I miss talking to you. I miss sharing videos back and forth. I miss just listening to the news through you. Seeing you in the morning. You telling Angie "I'll be here." 

Kay's turning 16... can you believe it. She's growing up so much since you died. I hope we can make you proud. Keep being here and guiding us okay? I made hummingbird food and put that out. I hope I see some fly around the porch. 

Thank you for all the beautiful animals in the outer banks this past vacation. The deer, bunnies, dolphins, dragon fly, butterfly. etc... I haven't shared any photos yet. It's been so busy with work and then working on the pool and helping dad out. My next project is staining the pool deck. I need to clean it first then do it. Not going to happen today. I made the cake and pasta salad. Alex put the pump in the creek and we are finishing up the pool. I added the connections and cleaned and organized the totes on the porch, because you know that's what a girl does. 

I still have more projects to work on. But the pool was project number one once home from vacation. Dad wants to go in the pool this year and I know Xavier will too. He was in the pool a lot in North Carolina. He is close to swimming on his own! 

I hope you're doing okay and having fun with Uncle Rick and your parents and grandparents and even Dad's parents. Let them know that I miss them and I miss you the most of course. You are a part of me I will never feel whole again. I was hoping for more time with you. Even 10 more years. But no.... life had other plans for both of us. 

Talk soon. I love you.